In the Wake of Vanquishment

In the Wake of Vanquishment

Exactly a year ago, I was a depressed wreck. Sleep did not come easily and the nights were dreadfully long. Days were dark and sombre, lived out in a weary drag. My clouded mind writhed in pain from the stabs of loss, eyes bled with tears, and my heart throbbed at the sight of all that reminded me of her.

Melodramatic is the word that best comes to mind after reading those lines I just wrote. A year on after the girl I loved left me, I've risen gradually to a place far above that dismal, cavernous dungeon I was once confined to. I smile and laugh easily again. The radiance of carefree joy has found it's place in my countenance once again. In the now, I live my days with zeal and ardor, a far cry from the emotional derelict I once was.

The pain is gone, but I haven't forgotten the ordeal I went through. A dreadful memory no doubt, but nevertheless impossible to merely consign to oblivion. For let me tell you that the pain of it all was very real and manifested itself on many different levels. As such, I have renewed empathy for those who have lost in love and live in denial over shards of shattered dreams.

Not too long after she left me, I poured my heart out on paper in the form of a poem. I removed it from this site a few months ago because I no longer feel the same way about certain things I wrote in it now. After some thought however, I have decided to re-post it for the benefit of other souls out there who are lost in the vault of depression, the very same one I occupied one year ago.

To those of you who cry bitter tears over the one who left you, please read this and remember that it was written a year ago. The pain had to be dealt with, and sadness had to run its course. But if you believe in yourself, the power of prayer, and allow yourself to be helped by the ones who really care about you, you will recover slowly but surely. Allow yourself the time to heal, for days of joy and felicity will soon fill your life once again. Take it from he who has traversed your path before, who now serves you these words of reflection with a knowing, blissful smile. And I pray that He will lift your burden and bless you with the strength and courage to persevere, and shine His light upon you to guide your path.

*Amen*

The Memory of Us

Into my life you spontaneously came,
Instantaneously giving rise to a passionate flame,
Exhilaration lifted my spirits high above,
As I swirled in the giddying vertigo of love.

Our first kiss on a cool February night,
Steadfast gazes in a frenzy of delight,
The keys that unlocked a genesis of promises,
Hopes of union, sharing and togetherness.

The journey began with your hand in mine,
With reassuring words that all would be fine,
Love of my life, I said to you,
You're the one I want, it's true, I do.

But the rays of faith and hope so dear,
Soon slipped away behind an eclipse of doubt and fear,
The manifesting realisation of slipping youth and risky chance,
True magnitude of which clutched you in an inescapable trance.

I listened to your reasons recited in weeping agony,
And tirelessly reassured you that we could overcome this courageously,
But alas, the burden of waiting had taken its toll,
Our hands slipped and I descended into a dreadful fall.

Frustration and melancholy engulfed my mind,
As I struggled to comprehend your reasoning behind,
The undoing of our precious hopes and that promising dream,
Which now lay tattered and lifeless in eternal requiem.

The memory of us stubbornly lingers on,
Though I slowly realise just how much is gone,
My days spent with you in the lap of heavenly bliss,
I shall always treasure and most greatly miss.

If only our fates could be eternally entwined,
Forever in our embrace we would be willingly confined,
But we can't and why I cannot construe,
All I can say my darling, is that I will always love you.